I have a confession…I have horrible taste in men. Of course, I am not at all referring to the one bright shining star in the darkness that has been my dating history. As we all well know, Mr. W lives up to his name, and then some…Mr. Wonderful. No, I am referring to the ex-men. They never cease to amaze me while simultaneously horrifying me and my sense of sensibility as far as men and relationships are concerned.
I had the following conversation with my STBX, soon to be known as TASMCITISM (the absolutely small-minded caveman idiot that I stupidly married)…ok maybe that’s a little long, but I will think of something!
Him: So where do women get their breasts from?
Me: huh? what do you mean?
Him: Well, I know men get their receding hairlines from their mother’s side, so which side do breasts come from?
Me: I don’t know. I got mine from my mom’s side, so maybe the mother.
Him: Well, if [the girl] gets hers from my side, she won’t have any problems.
Me: What does that mean? I don’t have any problems?
Him: Well, if she has a nice rack (yes he actually used this terminology to speak about his 3 year old daughter) she will get a lot further in life.
Me: WHAT? Seriously, you do realize this is your daughter you are talking about, right?
Him: Well, it depends a little on what line of work she wants to go into, but it’s a proven fact, as a DA or prosecuting attorney, if she has a nice rack she will be favored with the judges.
Me: I can’t have this conversation with you. And for the record, I’ve done just fine with my lesser endowments, thank you very much.
Seriously? Seriously?! Seriously?!
He went on trying to convince me that the girl needed to have big breasts to succeed in life. I tried to reason (forgetting who I was talking to) that I don’t like the idea of any woman, especially my daughter being looked at and talked about that way. He didn’t get it, thoroughly convinced and insisting that she must have big boobs to get by in life. That is her only hope. (She is beautiful, by the way, and slender…oh, and THREE YEARS OLD, PEOPLE!!) Do I need further explanation on why I left this idiot? (For those of you that think I do…don’t worry, I have a whole laundry list for you…)
Now, I’m not naive. I know that looks still play a part in today’s society. I know pretty girls can use it to their advantage to gain in the workplace, or in life in general. I am decent looking, and I’ve heard it a million times, especially in the military. I got promoted early because I’m a pretty girl. I get recognized because I’m a pretty girl. I got hired (outside the military) because I’m a pretty girl. What about the other side? I don’t get take seriously because I’m a pretty girl. My experience and intelligence are ignored because I’m a pretty girl. I have to fight harder to compensate mentally because I’m a pretty girl. I don’t want to rest on my looks. I downright refuse it. I’m smart, I’m a hard worker, I’m a great problem solver. Those are my selling points. My looks should have not a damn thing to do with it. Should.
But all that is in today’s society. A lot has changed in the workplace and in the relationship among people in general (we have a Black President Elect, for God’s sake!) let alone in the relationships (personal and in the workplace) between men and women. My hope is that our world changes even more in the next 20 years, when my kids are growing into it and heading out on their own to be part of it. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to hope for a better world and a better situation for your children? Is it wrong to expect it? If it is, then I’m wrong because I do hope for it. I do expect it, dammit! I expect that my kids will be able to be whatever they want in the world. I expect that the world will welcome them with open arms, whatever their lifestyle, appearance, quirks, or shortcomings. I expectthat my son will not openly reap the benefit of being a “good-looking white male” and my daughter won’t depend on her looks, whatever they end up being. I expect both my children will be respected and valued for their intelligence and work ethic.
I have now realized I have a whole plethora of battles in my future. I knew they were coming, but not in this form. Both of the ex-men are “old-fashioned,” which I truly believe is a PC way of saying small-minded and ignorant in a caveman sort of way, but I digress. They are both lazy and all about cutting corners and breaking rules “that aren’t really important” or are for “other people.” (Come on, STBX is a cop for Pete’s sake!) They will poison my children’s minds (not that they haven’t already tried, but I’ve managed to reverse most of the damage before it takes hold up till now) and I must be ready to battle to keep them safe. I must be ready to combat the damage as it happens, before it takes hold, and ensure the best, happiest possible future for my babies.
Battle on, Bitches!
