6 weeks and counting… :(

We have a departure date…11 October, only 7 weeks away. *sob* Oh, yeah, did I mention he has to leave for Georgia, or Alabama or some other place on the 4th of October, so that makes 6 weeks.  *sob*sob*  This sucks.  (I am happy for him though, and for us, and for our future.  I am, really.  No, that is not sarcastic.  I am happy.)

He has been breaking the news to all those around, involved, concerned, etc.  He quit “our” job (yea!) and got mixed responses there.  There were hugs, congratulations, interested inquiries as to what he will be doing…and one asshole (pardon my French, but there really is no other description for him) who said something to the effect of “Great!  Maybe we will see you getting your head chopped off on YouTube!”  Loose quote, but you get the idea.  Really, who says shit like that?!  An asshole, that’s who!  Then Mr. W broke the news about me moving in to his house.  Again, mixed, although mostly positive reviews.  And then there was Asshole again: “That’s great until she sells all your stuff and doesn’t pay your bills and abandons your house while you are gone.”  Another loose quote, but basically correct.  WTF!!  You know, it’s all well and good.  I get that it may be construed as a little quick to some.  I get that our relationship is somewhat of a source of both confusion and heavy gossip fodder for some of the more un-open-minded folks around here.  But really.  Asshole knows me.  Has known me for over a year now.  How could he possibly think something like that, let alone say it?  I’ll tell you how….HE’S AN ASSHOLE!! 

This particular Asshole is one of those people who comes off as all great and nice and stuff, but really is a holier-than-thou, backstabbing, hypocrite who thinks he’s smarter, more talented, and all around better than everyone else.  He is threatened by everyone, but especially women.  I hate seriously dislike have strong negative feelings about people like that.

And on the subject of those sort of people…Mr. W also told his STBX, who has recently moved away, moved on with her life, not bothered him (and by him I mean us…and by us I mean me) for over a month now.  Apparently she was all “ok” on the phone.–But–She sent him an email requesting a lunch date meeting before his departure date, “just ’cause.”  (First thought in my head:  What, your last “meeting” wasn’t enough for you???  You have to try again???)  Then, I read her blog.  (Yeah, smack me, I need it.)  She misses him.  Her heart is all aflutter at the sound of his voice.  Blah, blah, blah.  (Damn, I’m sounding a little bitter here.  I don’t like that, not one bit.)  Also, she is still on the mortgage for the house, his house, our house, the house that I am about to move myself and my two children into, with him in another country…  This just feels like a set up of some monumental significance, but I don’t have enough of the plot yet to figure it out.  Not on the part of Mr. W, of course…but I’ve mentioned before, and have so far been proved correct:  I DON’T TRUST WOMEN! *grumble, grumble, grumble*

Well, I feel slightly better now, getting it all out.  Did I mention slightly?  So the plan is to concentrate on the house (getting in and all settled) and on Mr. W (showing him I love him and he has nothing to worry about, on any possible front, while he is gone) and ignoring the Assholes and bull-shit along the way.  6 weeks and counting…I don’t want to waste a moment.

“…he loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah…”

This short homage to the Beatles is in honor of none other than my Mr. W. He has said the forbidden word…or words if we’re being specific.  He told me he loves me!    And do I love him…?  But of course!  (I did tell him as much, but with my recent propensity towards mumbling, I’m not 100% that he actually heard me….)  Although I didn’t want to believe it, let alone admit it, I had an inkling of love around the first time we broke up…you know, when, for the first time in my life, I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, stomped on by an entire soccer team, cleats and all, and then shoved down my throat and into my stomach, still beating.  Yeah, that sucked.  But back then it was too soon, and besides, he had just broken my heart and there was no way I actually loved, loved someone that could break my heart.  But then again, isn’t that the biggest drawback to actually being in love?  The possibility of having your heart broken?  But that is a chance I’m willing to take…because, in the words of the great Beatles…”he loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

On a not so happy note…I’m PMSing like mad right now, and that really sucks!  (sorry to any male readers that really don’t care about anything in this post)  I woke up cranky, and headachy, and crampy, and bitchy…WTF??!!  I never, ever suffered from PMS symptoms pre-babies…is this yet another wonderful gift of motherhood??

Moving day approaching…faster than planned…

In my last post (my 100th post, yea!) I mentioned “our” plans for me to move in with Mr. W.  Big step, but a great one nonetheless…I’m totally excited about it.  And as if living with his-Wonderfulness, the savings in bills, and the extra help with the kidlets and house stuff weren’t enough on their own, we took a trip to Ikea (Ikea!) on Saturday and got a whole new bedroom set (the one I’ve been eyeing for months) and a bunch of other mandatory bits and pieces that inevitably end up in one’s cart when one spends 3 hours in Ikea…stuff for the kids, Swedish meatballs a-la-Ikea, etc, etc.  If you haven’t tried them, you really need to!  They are so delish! 

Anyway, he broke the news to his kids last night: that I (and the kidlets) will be moving in and that they will be relocating to the spacious basement (seriously, not how it sounds.  Lots of space, privacy, and they are totally stoked about the move).  They were cool with the idea, so all is good there.  Hopefully his daughter and I can come up with some way to combat our combined shyness and actually talk once in a while…that would be good.

The original plan was to move the end of September as my lease is up October 5th…HOWEVER…Mr. W just got a job offer.  A military contract company, doing tech-y stuff, in Iraq, for a year.  And he is supposed to leave the first week of October.  Hmmm…can you say monkey-wrench?  So the move day(s) is moving to next week.  He wants to hire a maid (yuck!) and a handyman to look after the house while he is away.  And, oh, yeah…did I mention this is for a year!!  So our first year of living together, we won’t be living together.  Worse than that…I won’t see him for a year!  I was all supportive and stuff to this point (still supportive, just sad and supportive).  Then last night, I realized it’s a whole freakin’ year!!  Not that I can’t handle it, but it all kind of hit me while I was home, without him, and I got really sad…you know, that tightness in the throat, stinging in the back of your eyeballs kind of sad.  Oh, yeah.  There will definitely be crying before this thing is done.  A bonus with the job is he gets “basket leave” every 90 days, which is where they pay his round trip ticket anywhere for a week’s vacation.  So I will get to see him then.  Our first trip, we are thinking Europe and I’ll bring his kids with.  I asked him to make one of his trips back here so the kidlets don’t have to go the full year without seeing him.  Their lives are confusing enough right now, after all.

Silver lining to the early leave date: he’s back sooner! Also, since it coincides with my lease-up date, I can just tell the ex-men that I am renting a house from someone working over-seas, so I don’t have to worry about dealing with the inevitable “conversations” and stress from them about living with someone, a man, with the kids (at least for another year).  NICE!!  You know, if they weren’t such dirt-bag fathers (and men in general) they wouldn’t have to feel so threatened about another man in their kids’ life…but I digress…

No matter what happens…he takes the job, or not; he leaves early, or not; things are looking pretty sunny in the land of Writbrite…and Mr. W.  

My 100th post…

So this is my 100th post. I understand for you veteran bloggers, # 100 is small peanuts, but for me…it’s big. 6 months and 100 posts means I may actually have found a niche somewhere, I may actually stick with this, this thing that seems to be such a valuable outlet for me emotionally, creatively, and many other words ending with -ly, I’m sure. So after posting my last post and noticing that it was in fact # 99, I began pondering what in the world I would write about in my 100th post?? Obviously, I haven’t figured that out yet since it took me 2 days to get back at the keyboard (despite my regular, bordering on obsessive checking of my dashboard) and my now apparent rambling. Hmmm…

Do I write about the babies? How the girl is doing so much better with actually trying to make it to the potty, however, has also taken to dumping the contents of her panties on the floor in the bathroom when she doesn’t! Ewww! Will my life forever revolve around handling poop?? Or possibly about how the boy has decided he has the right, as the older brother, to take part in the disciplining of his sister. He mimics any lessons, scolding, or yellings that go on when they are directed at her, and in fact, this very morning I caught him spanking her for not listening to him while he was trying to help her with her shoes. Now, I realize this is probably a normal thing for a spanking household, but it has been a while since I spanked her (even longer for him) and even then, it was a moment of weakness on a particularly tough night. He spent the morning sulking in time-out as consequence…is that fair?

Or perhaps I could write about his Wonderfulness himself, Mr. W?? How two weeks ago he asked me to move in with him when my lease is up in October. How he had been thinking about it for weeks before that and had even discussed it with his first wife, mother of his two children, and she was supportive of the idea. How I accepted, after about a week of intense deliberation with myself about the pros (Mr. W, bigger house, kids have own rooms, obviously financial, Mr. W) and cons (kids dealing with change, again, Mr. W having to deal with the kids on a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis), and am now very excited in all the planning for the big move and making his house our home. I do have creeping bad thoughts every now and again. Nothing about whether or not we will be ok, despite our track record…described here, here, and here, I actually have no worry about that (er…isn’t that usually when poop hits the fan…kidding, Mr. W!) ..but, mostly about my kids. I worry about how he is going to take to having two small children thrown into his world so abruptly and constantly. I worry about how they are going to take it too, although not as much since they adore him. I worry about their dads more than anything. Not so much the STBX. He could care less at this point. He makes that quite clear. He already said he wants to meet Mr. W after the divorce is final (16 days and counting!!) but only because he is obviously a part of the girl’s life. Normal dad stuff…I get it. But then there is Ex-#1. He will find any excuse to drag me into court and try to paint me in a bad light. BUT, Mr. W’s house is a 3 bedroom, so the kids will have their own rooms…something that Ex-#1 has been hemming and hawing about for awhile now. Mr. W is a GREAT guy, so there are no legs to stand on in trying to say anything bad about him. And, oh yeah, I’m not his wife anymore…haven’t been for 5 years now…so he can suck it if he thinks he has any right to regulate my life and choices therein! Hrmph! Nuff said! But I am looking forward to living with Mr. W. He’s sweet and considerate and caring. He’s neat, can cook, and is great with my kids. He has good design taste (you know, paint and stuff) and he’s very accommodating and open for suggestions on colors, layout, furniture keeping/selling/placement. And best part yet…HE’S LETTING ME DECORATE FROM IKEA!! Have I mentioned my LOVE for Ikea?? Just in case I haven’t…I LOVE IKEA!! Ok, I’ll stop.

I could write about the 5-freakin-MILE RUN that Mr. W convinced me to sign up for…even though I’ve only run a total of 2 miles since our last 5K in what…mid-June? (I have not yet reached running goddess status…I’m not even at lowly running-handmaiden or even a running-mortal-peasant! (Ok, maybe I took that analogy a little far…) but seriously! How can I possibly run 5-freakin-MILES next month?? Ah well, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, and I seriously doubt I will actually die from running 5-freakin-MILES, although I will probably be in a fair amount of pain….

I could write about work…but nah…too boring. Same old shit, same old co-workers/stupid people, same every day.

And what else is there in my life? Not much…but it’s kind of nice that way. Not much excitement usually coincides with not much stress, and that is just fine with me!

Virgin Mobile Fest 2008!!

I have officially attended my first ever ROCK CONCERT!! The Virgin Mobile Fest–2008 was freaking awesome!!  It was an all day thing (actually two days, but we just did the one).  I’ve been to a couple concerts before, in my younger years.  I’ve seen: Coolio, R. Kelly, Boys II Men, TLC, Montel Williams, Janet Jackson (Janet Tour in 1995), and while I did go to see No Doubt, (just before they split up) which was in a small theater in Sacramento, we (and by we, I mean one of the morons I was with) got kicked out just before their set.  The lead-in band was pretty good, from what I remember, but genius-who-will-not-be named (and I) shared two or three (big) bottles of Chianti on the way up.  Needless to say, we were pretty lit.  I turned that into a great time.  He turned it into an excuse to light up a cigarette, in an indoor theater, in the crowd, in California, and hit on some girl half his age.  The bouncer was not pleased.  But of course, genius then decided he wanted to take on the bouncer who was twice his size, at least, and soon thereafter got evicted from the theater completely.  Nice!  I opted for leaving him out there to suffer, alone, so the rest of us could enjoy the show (call me heartless…I don’t care!) but the rest of my concert-going-compadres wanted to take care of him so we all had to leave and drive his drunk ass home.  Not cool!!

But back to the Virgin Festival…Mr. W, the kids (his, not mine), and I showed up just in time to catch most of Duffy, then The Offspring, Lupe Fiasco, some crappy “band” that I can’t remember, The Silver Beats (a Japanese Beatles cover band), CHUCK-freaking-BERRY (how cool is that??!!), The Foo Fighters, and the tail end of Jack Johnson (his performance, not his butt, although I’m sure his butt is very nice).  It was amazing!!  The place was crawling with folks of all shapes and sizes…and by that I mean ages, backgrounds, and levels of freak-ness.  There was beer, margaritas, and tons of food (not to mention a fair amount of smoke… if you know what I mean..but seriously, what all day, open air, festival-type concert would be complete without the smoke??)

Duffy sounds great live.  A great start to a great day.  And she is super-cute!  She did keep doing this “move” that involved her throwing her head back, kicking one leg up, and twirling the mic around several times which got to be a bit annoying, but otherwise, great performance.

The Offspring were great.  Old stuff, new stuff.  Fan-f-ing-tastic!

Lupe Fiasco (rap/R&B group), never heard of them, but they had a great performance.  Definately one for the iTunes library.

The Silver Beats (the Japanese Beatles cover band) was pretty good.  A couple of them had an accent, but it was all good, nonetheless.

Chuck Berry is definitely a pimp, and always will be.  He called a bunch of girls up on stage for his last song, and some crazy chick tried to put her arms around him and stepped on the plug to his guitar.  Silly girls!!  He recovered well and continued to rock.

And then there was the Foo Fighters!  Great performance, great songs, great crowd reaction..just all great!!  I can’t stress enough how great the Foo Fighters were/are!

No first-concert would be complete without a token–a T-shirt from the concert (and a few more tan lines).  It was a great day which led into a great night.     (so how many times can you say great in one post??!!)

—>pictures soon to come!

(So just how many times can one say great in a single post??!!)