I don’t want to grow up

I’ve been staring at this blank “write post” page for days now, trying desperately to write.  Write something!  It’s not as if this is a test of my creativity, although I wish I could say I am being creative in some way in this blog of mine.  This is more of my babbling, but I can’t even come up with something to babble about.  This will probably be deleted before I even get to a point.  I feel as if all my knowledge and creativity have fallen from their lofty perches in my mind to their untimely, and probably quite messy deaths at my feet.  I have become an adult.  Just another adult going through the motions of life.  Going to work, coming home, making dinner, tending the kids, going to bed, just to start the whole monotonous cycle all over until day by day, week by week, month by month, and year by year time passes by and I haven’t accomplished anything of any great importance.  I am stuck in the rotating door.  Soon my kids will grow up, move on, and move out, and my days and years will drone on until retirement and ultimately death.  How depressing is that!?  I feel the need to accomplish something.  It doesn’t have to be a great accomplishment.  It doesn’t have to be meaningful to the world, just meaningful to me.  Some semi-impressive thing that I can fall back on and say, well, at least I did _____.  But as I plod along each day, the last bits of my creativity and drive drip out of my ear and are left as a smudge on the carpet soon to be vacuumed up in some random cleaning frenzy.  Ah, me. What am I to do?  Go to bed and dream of a life less ordinary I suppose, but only to wake up with disappointment to my regular grind tomorrow.  Ah, the joys of reaching adult-hood.  Now I get the Toys-r-us song. But I fear that it’s too late.

…and then my house threw up

So I am looking at my house, and all my efforts to purge and declutter and simplify my life have resulted in something that looks remotely like my house threw up on itself. Now I am stuck in a place where I don’t know what to work on next, or first, or at all, and I am feeling totally unmotivated. Isn’t this the way. I knew I should have started with the refrigerator!